朋友？那是什么？

失望，心痛，我不明白...我曾经还以为我们是很好的朋友，但我真的没想到你会这样地认为我...我以为你会懂我在想什么...我太傻，太天真了...你确定我没有解释吗？那天对你的关心是假的吗？原来，原来...你一直以来都是将认为我的... 今天，我真的是对朋友两个字失望... 失望顶透... 关心你，在意你，害怕你会被别人说闲话因为那时的你还没有名分... 原来这都是我自以为是的关心... 那我现在真的明白了，那叫多管闲事。无论如何，还是祝你幸福...

有时真的不明白，是我用错了方式对待朋友吗？为什么？这是我的弱点吧！我太重友情了，我对待我的朋友很好很好，但是到头来，得到的是什么？误会？生气？一次又一次！为什么？你真的认为我没有变吗？如果我没有为你着想的话，那次你没有出席生日会，我已经生气你了... 我明白你的苦衷，所以我也没说你什么... 结果，你竟然这样地认为我！知道我有多惊讶，我的心有多痛吗？

人真的可以为了爱情而将别的事情丢在一边... 是的，当我将友情和爱情放在一个秤上，友情一定会是重许多... 我不期望你们也如此地对我，但是...请你们在拥有了爱情时，不要把友情丢在一旁不闻不问... 自从上次那件事后，我真的以为我已经看开了... 结果，事实是...心还是被伤得血淋淋...类似的事情，不同的人，一次又一次地重复着... 我不知道我几时才能控制自己，学聪明一点，不要再对朋友过分的热情...

以前，有人对我说，我的朋友不多是因为我的心筑起了一道墙... 我害怕让人家知道真实的我，我总是将自己隐藏起来...是的，我进了大学后，我尽量地用最真实的一面对待我的朋友...结果得到的是什么？伤痕累累的一颗心...好累...好想回到从前的我，朋友没几个，只有一些知心朋友...但起码不用为朋友担心这个担心那个，担心那些不关自己事的事情...为朋友流的泪还多过为自己流的泪...这样值得吗？我不知道，我真的不知道...

满脑袋剩下的除了失望，还是失望。除了痛心，还是痛心... 今晚，是个难捱的一晚... 注定要失眠了...

Simply Update~~~Wk 11

It's been a month I din update my blog. No other reasons, juz too buzy~ Buzy wif all the assignments n rushing for the datelines on wk 9, rush until no time sleep... feeling tired doing all the so called "group" assignments with only me n soon keat... hope that next sem. will have better n cooperative groupmates... wat i waiting for now is juz the assignment marks, hope it will not make me too disappointed...

Previously, I like to play L4D2, it's my favourite game before... but finally i din play it anymore and now, i stick to another game again, Command & Conquer 3. Enjoy to play wif both SK as I really dun like to be alone and wargame is my favorite... but too bad lo... my skill is too low and i always let the opponent fight until i need to move my base and stay at either SK de base... Really no eyes see lo... but i do enjoy the game...

In tis month, stg happen. Stg that I only dream for n nvr expected for it... Unbelievable and nvr know that i am uncontrollable... N now it do happened... It's a weird situation, however, i dun mind and for me, it's acceptable... quite enjoy myself in tis situation oso... ya... at the border of being friends...

Wk 12 coming and tis oso means that final exam is approaching... Preparation work shud be done from now, but i still dun have the mood yet... Packing my heart in progress and work will start on next Tuesday.... good luck to my final exam~~~

Unstable Emotion

It's been a week i din update my blog. Time juz like flying past vry fast, now adi week 6 and assignments are being rushed every day. Tis sem. deal with lots of articles juz to get more info. to do assignments.

Story begins from last Saturday, I went to PJ UTAR Campus to watch FATE musical drama, their performance is amazing as it's not easy to sing few of the songs in "The Phantom of The Opera", but still feel a bit disappointed as they din sing the main song, but frankly speaking that song have a high difficulty and shouldn't blame them as they adi put a lot of effort in the drama. It ended up as a 1 day trip in KL.

The next day I attend for the Buddhist night at own campus themed "Spring, is not a season". After that event, suddenly I start to think, is it the style of uni life now is wat i want? I nt yet get the answer... but anyway, i was amazed by the teamwork of the Buddhist Society member. They put so much of effort in preparing the whole drama and I do think that every event organizing committee shud learn from them...

Then, start to have the whole week of buzy life. Almost every night oso got assignment discussion, not enough sleep is common jor... tis sem. met quite a few of weak members as lots of their parts need me to help them do and checked for them. Is not a easy job and very time consuming... juz say, "i dunno how to summarise the articles", then i will help him do mai his part jor juz bcoz i dunno how to teach him oso. If he do it wrongly end up i need to redo again.

Next, i oso same group wif another weird ppl. Always assume ownself is 大少爷, I really beh tahan tis kind of ppl. Plz do know that is not a muz for everyone to tahan ur behaviour and is not without u i can't do all the assignments! Stop showing ur stupid and stubborn attitude to me and I am not tat kind of person will tolerate wif u!!!

There is a simple gathering wif my friends at Falim steamboat on Wednesday nite. Not satisfied that night as i din eat dou my favourite seafood... Swear next time will take wat i want to eat 1st, but not juz eating all the leftovers on the table. Stomach suffering~~~However, enjoy to eat wif my friends and the atmosphere there.

Friday, we went to Taitec to do our Operation Management assignment. The ppl in charge is nice as whatever we ask, he will answer nicely... learn a lot besides from the aspect of assignment. After that, go makan durian at Miki's house and i took 1 durian bk my own house lo... haha!!! I am a durian fans, so sure wun miss this chance lo...

My emotion for the whole week is not stable, maybe due to not enough sleep, maybe oso met wif all kinds of weird n strange ppl...haiz~ juz know got to put more effort in my assignments jor...

Juz Update~~~

It's late at night and i still got another 20 minutes only can sleep. Why? Bcoz of my little pet dog in farmville ( 1 of the stupid game in FB). If i din feed it on time, it will cost 2 FV cash to take it bk leh... haiz... Ntg to do, so update my blog lo...

Now is the third week of my Y2S1 life, seeing my friends 1 by 1 withdraw and take the course in UTAR again, my heart feel sour... dunno why? Maybe bcoz they are my friends and i feel sad to see them left me and we cant graduate at the same time. Haiz... Alan left Kampar, but i still believe he will be in 8 group forever although we can't met often. Waiting for him bk... as he will bring stg that can make me happy for me... waiting for it~~~ Wish u can pursue ur studies well in Selangor and graduate wif flying colors.

Juz nw wan to go out watch movie geh... adi obtain permission from mummy but... too bad... only Lulu can accompany lo... other friends tired, work, buzy~~~ when they see me, they will say i disappear jor so many months and forget them jor, but when i date them, they will say tis n tat n dun wan cum out... haiz... As July is coming, I know they will left Ipoh and pursue their degree at elsewhere... there will be lesser time for us to meet each other in future... feel sad... but cant do anything...

UTAR life...."Good" transport system

It's 2 week pass since new semester... all the class are confirmed and assignments are distributed. The subject of tis sem. kinda tough, do know tat need more preparation b4 go class but yet lazy to do so... assignments are tough, i am not sure wat will happen to all my group assignments, it seems like no 1 care about the progress... worried... know tat i need to do more adi...

Tis weekend was in ipoh. As usual, juz stay in house and grow mushrooms... no plan, no movie, no yumcha... sometimes i wonder, when only i can meet bk all my secondary skul gang and have a gathering? some buzy working, some at other place study. Is that me the only 1 that so free almost every weekend in Ipoh... No lo... Assignments start soon... And i do think that there will be more time for me to stay in Kampar to do all the assignments. Besides, there are mid-term oso... haiz~~~

Study in UTAR is a kind of training... erm... how to say leh? Is like train u how to memorize those subject that might be no use in future, train u how to tahan the heart attack everytime result release, train u fully utilized the limited sem break, train u how to squeeze into the bus as there are too many students and too little bus (although i long time din sit bus adi), train u pray from the God that u can get car sticker every sem. As tis sem, i fail to get the car sticker, my kitty car cant enter school compound.

I really cant understand, if UTAR dun have such a big compund, then dun take in so many student... or they should practise like the public uni, 1st year students are not allowed to drive car, and the senior students that are holding position in club or societies are given the privilege to apply for car sticker... When students park at the east gate, the security will say that students are not considerate and park at the roadside make the bus cant pass and enter campus... then, is there any solution? no... juz know how to complain complain complain... Yup! Who dunno cycle is environmental friendly? But in Kampar, the weather is unpredictable... morning the sun shining so bright and in the evening can be rain heavily.... Ya...there is other alternative, boarding the bus... Only few routes of bus, but there are thousands of students... lots of bus stop in westlake but i can tell u tat's useless.. why? coz if u dun wait at 1st bus stop and u wait at bus-stop near ur hostel, the bus will arrive oso, but then juz pass thru ur sight and it won't stop... why? coz the bus full jor... tis is wat happen to the transport system in UTAR...

Haiz... tats all i wan to grumble about... 2 weeks pass and din do anything... got to pack my heart jor... work hard aiming my hope and dream!!!

A New Sem... A New Start...

Is the start of new sem. again, lots of things need to plan and do. Have a new aim in tis sem., getting dean list is my dream... Adi start sem. for 1 week, start to realize that the subject in tis sem is very tough, preparation work need to be done much more early... assignments are tough and few of my groups got only 2 or 3 ppl in a group, tis means i need to do double the work... haiz... work double but marks no double...

Since bk to Kampar, every night oso go out play left 4 dead 2, thnx to Melvin and SK accompanying me, 1 week playing L4D2 is the maximum... the 2nd week will be the starting of my preparation work... the end for my play life... entertainment is only when the preparation work is done...

So, as the Safety Campaign ends, I will fully concentrate in my studies... tis is wat i promise to myself and muz be done...

The End of Holiday

My holiday almost end lo. The whole semester break feeling nt happy and in a kind of down mood wif no reasons. Luckily, last Friday went for a trip in KL wif Pik San and Wah, feeling much more comfortable after buying a few kitties to add in to my collections...

Watch Robin Hood and Shrek in 3D version, shopping for a few clothes, drink liquor wif SK's friends... tis is all wat i done in KL, not extraordinary, but more than enough to cheer up myself.

Now waiting for the results out, in a kind of nervous feeling, dunno my heart can tahan onot... hope that results are not too bad...

Juz finish arranging my hello kitty and take a photo of the big family... juz add in 2 new members that i juz brought bk from KL...

my mum laugh me n said i no the sense of art and spoil the beauty of hello kitty wif the style i arrange. Haha!!! I admit... anywhere, tis is the big family photo...