Time to Study...

Feel like wanna to go for vacation wif my friends... but the most important thing that I muz do now is to start my revision... the whole sem. din do any revision, now start to know nervous adi... by tis week 14, i muz settle my BA2 and QT2, must!!! If not really cant finish on time adi... Hope that i gt self-control... bk on thursday, but untill today i nt yet touch my slides n books.. feeling myself is such weak... haiz... Teh Siew Yan! I look down on u!!!

My mum warn me, if my result get too bad in this sem, i cannot join any organizing committee anymore, tis means my university life will be meaningless... No energy... Bye... Need go study ler...

FBF Night 2010 Ends...Final come...

Huhh... feel like long time din update my blog adi... So, he cum bk at the most critical time and yet he save the situation... Have a 1 day trip in Penang wif him, but since we dunno the road in Penang, we wasted lots of time using GPS and cheated by GPS... haha... anyway, we do enjoy our time...

then we went to have seafood for dinner... i eat crab... and nw only 1 realise 1 crab cost RM27!!! But it was tasty and worth it... I will bring my family to Bukit Tambun eat seafood ooso when got chance.

But something happen that day, and my mum is not happy wif me... i am not sure whether i am wrong... but i do believe i won't do the same thing again if u give me 1 more chance even though it's impossible... i hate to have cold war wif mum... the whole week i buzy for the preparation of FBF Night, so i force myself not to think so much and focus on wat i should do...

FBF Night is such a successful event... this event had planned for 3 semester and finally it run smoothly... dunno why, i am proud of myself... I feel that i learned a lot in this event... feeling myself mature a bit adi.. know how to handle things and view things from different perspective... for sure there are some imperfect during that night... but i am happy to meet my 8 group members and took photos... long time din take photo wif them adi... but... Siaw was not there... the imperfect...

But, I am happy that i got the chance to take photo wif Ying Hong, 1 of the performers that I like a lot lo... he has a nice voice... know how to play guitar well... wakakaka!!! I enjoy the performance the whole night... but feeling tired oso wearing high heels walking around the whole night. Foot pain for 2 days... walk on smooth land oso pain...

Besides, have chance to take photo wif my year 1 sem 1 classmate and Chern How... Enjoy taking photo the whole night... 83 photos in 1 night... amazing... have a chance to dance wif a handsome that night... enjoy the romance and sweet atmosphere that night... but telling the truth, i quite nervous oso tat time... dance session wif him ends fast... have a sweet memory...

As the night ends, i got to face that problem. On Saturday, my sis fetch me bk to Ipoh. I regret for going bk ipoh to face my mum, she hurts me... she can scold me, beat me... but she choose to ignore me... i am tired... i juz wan her to know that i am mature enough to make my decision, i do promised i will protect myself nicely... why can't she believe me? When I reach Kampar, I really can't take it anymore, I phone her to inform her I reach adi... then it can be said that i juz phone her to give her a chance to scold me... i dun mind, i really dun mind... as long as she can talk bk to me, i really dun mind she scold me... but since the last call on Saturday, she din phone me... i dun have that courage to phone her oso.. i fear... fear to listen her cold voice... that try to ignore me... i am hurt... i need someone to give me courage...

Haiz... final is coming... i should settle my own feeling... got to concentrate in final... coursework in this semester is not that good... hope in final can do well to get more As....

It's Complicated...

I am not sure wat i am thinking now.... a kind of messy... like the chinese proverb "剪不断，理还乱。" My relationship is totally different wif other ppl's. Should be missing him until wan to die while he is not here, but I only think of him while i am free and he phone me. Every time after talk phone oso feel sorry to him. Coz as his gf, even the time to talk phone oso cannot be long... juz bcoz every time he phone me, i am buzy eating, assignment, doing stuff... I am free only during 3-4am in the morning... but he adi sleep... Sometimes, he phone me when i am pressured and in anger... and he will be the pitty 1, coz the way i talk will bcum scolding him... I know i shud not treat him tat bad... but he is the only ppl that i can release all the pressure and anger... and once again, feeling sorry after doing so.... but he do understand me, every time oso advise me to rest more... Every time, i feel like wan to let him go, let him free to find another girl that can accompany him, but i know i cant afford to do so.... i do love him but i really no time and effort to maintain this long distance relationship... I am torturing my heart wif guilty, feeling sorry, pressure repeatedly.... i know is difficult for me to met ppl like him that can bear wif me and my behavior... sometimes. really wan to salute him.... for having that patience wif me... so, tats why i am a weird ppl... very weird.... i oso dun understand wat i am thinking about... Sorry, my dear... please tolerate wif me...

I think i dun bother it so much better. Now i am in a kind of busy mood. If u ask, wat i am busying about, i can only say that busy doing other ppl's stuff. Yesterday night back to Ipoh to fetch him, so i bk to my house while waiting his bus arrive. My mum keep nagging on me, not to help deco dpmt doing stuff, but i stand firm on my decision that i should help them. Is not help tat dpmt, is helping PS... PS is a kind of different ppl that have a weird style of behaviour. Tis behaviour let her, as a human being live more happily. She is soft, a water type of girl. I feel guilty to drag her participate in this committee, she is a happy girl... but bcoz of me, she is overload wif pressure and responsibility... so, wat i can do is only helping her the best as i can. I din admit that i am pro than her, but i do feel that i can help her in planning to ensure things can go on smoothly... worrying her will break down, so i try to help her as much as possible, thinking all the possible idea, and the 1st time i fully utilize my brain, juz bcoz of other dpmt stuff.

I should be have a relax kind of feeling bcoz my dpmt stuff settle as the week of ticket redemption ends, but my heart is full of other stuff. My study is the main thing that make me worry... 5 subjects for this semester: English, QT 2, BA2, MP and IS. For me, English is not a problem. QT 2: after the 2 mid-term, i have more confident wif the 1st 5 chapter, but the last few chapter, i am quite blur wif that, but i think shud be ok if i find my QT sifu, Ling Siaw. Next, BA2: Tis subject worried me the most...Especially chap. 6 which will be cuming out in compulsory part... still blur wif the stupid cash flow statement... Wanna to find Mr. Mahendra in this following week, so i should do revision in this week for tat chapter... do hope that can understand without finding him... and oso do hope that myself can spare out free time wif accounting... MP: the memorizing management subject, i do believe that the most difficult management subject- leadership i oso can memorize it, i do think that this is not a problem, but i have no sufficient time to do bk all the revision...I need time, i need time!!! Last, IS: a worst subject!!! Worst than MP, all the slides no explanation and elaboration, must study the textbooks. Luckily the 1st 6 chapters i adi complete reading the textbook and write down all the extra points. But wat i worry is the behind part, difficult to understand and complex. Haiz.... wif a lecturer teaching by reading all the slides... i start skip classes start from lecture 6....

Actually, to me, all the subject should not be a problem for me... is juz tat wat i lack now is time... TIME!!! I know i can understand it as long as i put time to study it, but embarrassed to say that i have really no time. All the time fully utilized to do the FBF Night stuff... Try to control myself not to mind other ppl's business, but at the end i fail in doing so. My heart got another voice telling me, " U as a part of the committee should help now to let the event to bcum much more better, but not regret after the event fail!" I hate this voice!!! I hate it!!! This make me uncontrollable doing other useless stuff... After doing it, no ppl appreciate... then i regret again... I din mean to ask u to treat me or say thank you to me... but at least, plz let me feel that u r happy wif wat i have done. Plz dun give me expression which is no reaction... My passion in doing this event fade... no more... wat i have now, is juz a kind of responsibility that urge me to participate... Sien....心淡...

So, now.. i should fully focused in my study le... adi week 12, final coming... after the event ends, really need to do my revision... Hope that this final i still can survive...

Weekend in Ipoh

Today wake up early at 5.30am juz to get prepared to Taiping to "ching ming'. Only me n my father, is quite boring since my father is a quiet type of ppl. Tis year, we reached my grandfather's grave too early and nobody was there. Then I start to ask my father's family story... he told me a lot... today only i realized my father is kind and willing to sacrifice for his family but that no one appreciate wat he had done... but there was something i shud learn from him... Although no 1 appreciate wat he had done, he still do watever that he shud done and treat others as well as before.

So, for me now, i also behave as my father. No ppl appreciate? Fine! I will keep on doing watever that I need, so that the event can go on smoothly. No anger, juz let it be in peace. Yesterday collecting all the sponsor stuff from Digi, thought tat only a few box, but tis does not happened as wat i expected.... huhh.... dunno how to explain... my car no place to put my own things adi....

Just now only finish doing all the ticket... dunno worth onot for me to do so much... handmade... dunno got ppl appreciate onot... i do mind tis kind of things but... watever la... i have done it, and at least i have done the best and i satisfied wif the output. The whole day doing stuffs and no rest... feeling tired and tomorrow need to wake up early to drive bk to Kampar to attend class summo... pitty me... and now I have to go to pack all my stuff so that I can bk on time as I do estimate that I will wake up late... yeah... I am sure some1 will say me pig again when read my blog... yes!!! tis time i will admit it... wakakaka!!!

Relieved...

Actually Saturday night wan to update my blog de, but since morning wake up early to have 8am mid-term, then go to Ipoh to have a movie in Jusco, then happen something when i bk, really dun have time n energy to write anymore. Enjoy my time wif my friends. But when stay wif Ee Ven, really cannot be too mature and cannot think too much... When see a clown making a heart wif balloon, she straight lost control and drag me there. Oh my god!!! Maybe different character, she can do wat she want without caring others view, but I cannot... but since she drag n hold me so hard, i can't run away oso... then, bcum wat pik san said lo.... "mempersiahsuikan" diri sendiri.... Hahaha!!!

Maybe... maybe sometimes dun care and dun think so much is good de... but dunno why i everytime oso cant do so. haiz... always make myself complicated. Then, I found out something tat day. Ee Ven really gila sushi... she go to the supermarket dpmt and buy 2 box of sushi n eat... is not small box, but medium box. After that, she said she still wan, then she go n buy another big box... woo... really can eat a lot sushi... i think she eat almost RM30++ of sushi liao...

After cum bk from Ipoh, I message her whether wan to cum n see the coat for Sunday's photo shooting session onot... then she cum at around 12.30am. After the thing happened previously, I really dunno how to face her... sometime, feel like juz wan to assume as ntg happen, but really cannot... After choosing the coat she wan, i invite her to chat beside the road. She agree then we sit by the roadside and have our "roadtalk". I really cant take all the suffering feeling anymore. Straight to the point, I ask her about that time wat she think and how she feel... I tell her how suffer I am.. How disappointed I feel to her. She explain all the things tat I ask, finally i know that is not she that change... she is in dilemma also, is me tat dun understand her... all our unhappy issues solve... then it starts to rain... both of us juz sit at the roadside and under the rain for 2 hours... feel cold, feel syok... I asked her, "r we still friends? Good friends? Do u know u mean different to me?" Ya, she said we are, we are still good friends... At that time, u really cant understand how happy am i... how relieved am I.... Friends forever....

Then, the next day i take lots of pictures wif her, having lots of funs during picture shooting. Then we have our lunch at KFC at Kampar old town. After that, start to do the tickets for FBF Night. So, doing the whole day of tickets making me lazy to wake up this morning and no time to drink my energy booster...T.T Then during QT2 tutorial class, I really nearly fall asleep... decided not to attend the next QT2 lecture n tis is a brilliant decision bcoz Pheng oso run away in the middle of the class bcoz too boring adi...

Tonite is the only free night since I start to do the FBF Night... but I din use this night wisely... juz doing tis and tat not related things.... haiz.... wasted 1 night again...

A Buzy Week

This week is quite a buzy week for me. As I reach Kampar on Sunday, all the stuff tat need to do all come in suddenly... doing the critical management assignment which is given only 1 week time to do... Preparing for the presentation slides for IS...

There was a "short meeting" on Monday night... I cannot take it anymore with all the stupid policies and procedures. Whether policies are clearly stated in black and white oso i dunno. He juz let me feel like he wan to keep everything confidential. I argue wif him fiercely in front of all the committees that night with no face given. Yeah... U r da 1 tat control the cash flow, but tis doesn't mean that u can hold all the money but nt releasing it... A lot of conflicts and arguments happen during the organizing of this event... But I do think tat every event organizing committee will face the same problems n conflict oso...

Yesterday, Tuesday night. I ask SK to accompany bk to Ipoh... Sry for asking u to accompany me... anywhere u let me found out 1 of ur character adi.... wats tat? guess urself... hahaha!!! Anywhere, i realized something after listening to wat my cousin brother said... He said, nt to argue and quarrel wif others, learn how to take it and calm down... communication skills muz be learned in handling ppl and jobs... Yeah... I think I should learn it for my own sake... maybe bcoz when i am concern wif something, i will lost control easily... Next meeting onwards, I will try to control myself... when i do not concern that thing anymore, there will be none of my business even though watever happens... so, do appreciate the time when i concern u... dun make me fade up wif u.... I can do anything for u, my friend when i do care you and ur feeling. Same as the event that I organised, dun ever make me fade up wif all the policies, like tis means I will do my best to get the job done...

Today, I have my 1st Information System presentation. I wore my mum's clothes... dunno is me that think too much or wat.... i feel like everyone is looking at me, not bcoz i beautiful, of course, is bcoz i am vry weird in the way i dressed... Haiz... having the whole day class from 8am - 6.30pm. I do really understand how the word "tired" can be write... But nw, I am still blogging at 3.49am in the morning... after bk from ipoh, sleep a few hours only and have to wake up to go to skul adi.... juz nw after class and reach home, have to attend meeting at 8pm. Not enough time to have my dinner... so i go to eat after meeting at 10pm and juz reach my hostel and i start to blogging...

Sry for scolding u... i am hungry that time and i will lost my temper easily whenever i nt enough sleep and hungry... sorry.... hope u can understand me as i am really buzy tis whole week... phone my mum to crap oso no time... haiz... however, i do learn a lot of things through the whole process i organize this event. I will still join other event organizing committee provided i have the chance and time to do so... So, time to sleep... nitez....

Proud...

So, the 3rd point that I mention yesterday had achieved, I have to officially announced that my committee had sold out all the tickets. Next, I hope that our show can go on smoothly and everyone is talking good about our show...

Yesterday, calling for a lots of ppl for the sponsorship purpose... so far, i quite satisfied wif wat i able to get... Get coffee from Home's Cafe, cash sponsor... (especially from my father ) hahaha... Then, today book time wif 1 of the insurance company, finally they did sponsor but not wif the name of company, is by their own name. After that, I walked to a shop nearby to ask for banner. At first, I juz plan to ask them to quote a price only and plan to suggest them to sponsor the banner. So, I offer them benefit... they don't seem touched wif wat i said.. but after 20 minutes I left the office and at a shop asking about sound system, the banner ppl call me and tell me a good news. I quickly walk bk to the office and discuss the matter wif them... They said since our banner is small, its juz a small matter to them. Even though juz take it as donation from them oso nvrmind... They are so kind... Sometimes, I really quite agree wif a quote in Chinese "got give only got take", this is true. In this new era of business world, everyone talking about benefit, if u dun willing sponsor me, I am not willing to help u promote oso, right?

Wakaka... forget to annonce a big news. Lalalala~~~ Finally, today is the last day of holding P license, this morning go apply for normal licence adi.. finally I am free from P license!!! Maybe u will feel weird why i so happy, but have to say that my house has its own policy... mum not allowed me to stick the stupid big red "P" on her car. This also means that I can't drive her car... Argh.... I wan the good air-cond and power steering car....

Haiz... talking about car... got a bad news.... My dear kitty Toyota Corolla admitted to hospital yesterday and found that its heart (carburettor) got problem... need to find other car to donate the heart or maybe buy another heart... but the whole day has passed, can't find suitable de oso... I feel that I am gonna be vry inconvenient without my kitty car... summo need to bk ipoh 2 times to get all the sponsor stuff... haiz... i do pray and hope that got suitable heart for it... really can't imagine the days without car and need to cycle.. T.T

Tomoro, I have a tight schedule, fetch sis to school, then go ask for the price of renting p.a system, then go ipoh parade fetch sis n send her to Sky Corner to attend a gathering. Aiyo... every time cum bk oso she will very happy de, coz i can be her free driver send her go here and there. But nvrmind la.... who ask her is my sister? hahaha...

So, as wat i said and planned yesterday, I pay for B and start to use it... it's difficult but i do think should be worth in future.. juz assume it as a type of investment with long run and lifelong return...