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Sunday, August 22, 2010

朋友?那是什么?

失望,心痛,我不明白...我曾经还以为我们是很好的朋友,但我真的没想到你会这样地认为我...我以为你会懂我在想什么...我太傻,太天真了...你确定我没有解释吗?那天对你的关心是假的吗?原来,原来...你一直以来都是将认为我的... 今天,我真的是对朋友两个字失望... 失望顶透... 关心你,在意你,害怕你会被别人说闲话因为那时的你还没有名分... 原来这都是我自以为是的关心... 那我现在真的明白了,那叫多管闲事。无论如何,还是祝你幸福...

有时真的不明白,是我用错了方式对待朋友吗?为什么?这是我的弱点吧!我太重友情了,我对待我的朋友很好很好,但是到头来,得到的是什么?误会?生气?一次又一次!为什么?你真的认为我没有变吗?如果我没有为你着想的话,那次你没有出席生日会,我已经生气你了... 我明白你的苦衷,所以我也没说你什么... 结果,你竟然这样地认为我!知道我有多惊讶,我的心有多痛吗?

人真的可以为了爱情而将别的事情丢在一边... 是的,当我将友情和爱情放在一个秤上,友情一定会是重许多... 我不期望你们也如此地对我,但是...请你们在拥有了爱情时,不要把友情丢在一旁不闻不问... 自从上次那件事后,我真的以为我已经看开了... 结果,事实是...心还是被伤得血淋淋...类似的事情,不同的人,一次又一次地重复着... 我不知道我几时才能控制自己,学聪明一点,不要再对朋友过分的热情...

以前,有人对我说,我的朋友不多是因为我的心筑起了一道墙... 我害怕让人家知道真实的我,我总是将自己隐藏起来...是的,我进了大学后,我尽量地用最真实的一面对待我的朋友...结果得到的是什么?伤痕累累的一颗心...好累...好想回到从前的我,朋友没几个,只有一些知心朋友...但起码不用为朋友担心这个担心那个,担心那些不关自己事的事情...为朋友流的泪还多过为自己流的泪...这样值得吗?我不知道,我真的不知道...

满脑袋剩下的除了失望,还是失望。除了痛心,还是痛心... 今晚,是个难捱的一晚... 注定要失眠了...

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Simply Update~~~Wk 11

It's been a month I din update my blog. No other reasons, juz too buzy~ Buzy wif all the assignments n rushing for the datelines on wk 9, rush until no time sleep... feeling tired doing all the so called "group" assignments with only me n soon keat... hope that next sem. will have better n cooperative groupmates... wat i waiting for now is juz the assignment marks, hope it will not make me too disappointed...

Previously, I like to play L4D2, it's my favourite game before... but finally i din play it anymore and now, i stick to another game again, Command & Conquer 3. Enjoy to play wif both SK as I really dun like to be alone and wargame is my favorite... but too bad lo... my skill is too low and i always let the opponent fight until i need to move my base and stay at either SK de base... Really no eyes see lo... but i do enjoy the game...

In tis month, stg happen. Stg that I only dream for n nvr expected for it... Unbelievable and nvr know that i am uncontrollable... N now it do happened... It's a weird situation, however, i dun mind and for me, it's acceptable... quite enjoy myself in tis situation oso... ya... at the border of being friends...

Wk 12 coming and tis oso means that final exam is approaching... Preparation work shud be done from now, but i still dun have the mood yet... Packing my heart in progress and work will start on next Tuesday.... good luck to my final exam~~~