朋友？那是什么？

失望，心痛，我不明白...我曾经还以为我们是很好的朋友，但我真的没想到你会这样地认为我...我以为你会懂我在想什么...我太傻，太天真了...你确定我没有解释吗？那天对你的关心是假的吗？原来，原来...你一直以来都是将认为我的... 今天，我真的是对朋友两个字失望... 失望顶透... 关心你，在意你，害怕你会被别人说闲话因为那时的你还没有名分... 原来这都是我自以为是的关心... 那我现在真的明白了，那叫多管闲事。无论如何，还是祝你幸福...

有时真的不明白，是我用错了方式对待朋友吗？为什么？这是我的弱点吧！我太重友情了，我对待我的朋友很好很好，但是到头来，得到的是什么？误会？生气？一次又一次！为什么？你真的认为我没有变吗？如果我没有为你着想的话，那次你没有出席生日会，我已经生气你了... 我明白你的苦衷，所以我也没说你什么... 结果，你竟然这样地认为我！知道我有多惊讶，我的心有多痛吗？

人真的可以为了爱情而将别的事情丢在一边... 是的，当我将友情和爱情放在一个秤上，友情一定会是重许多... 我不期望你们也如此地对我，但是...请你们在拥有了爱情时，不要把友情丢在一旁不闻不问... 自从上次那件事后，我真的以为我已经看开了... 结果，事实是...心还是被伤得血淋淋...类似的事情，不同的人，一次又一次地重复着... 我不知道我几时才能控制自己，学聪明一点，不要再对朋友过分的热情...

以前，有人对我说，我的朋友不多是因为我的心筑起了一道墙... 我害怕让人家知道真实的我，我总是将自己隐藏起来...是的，我进了大学后，我尽量地用最真实的一面对待我的朋友...结果得到的是什么？伤痕累累的一颗心...好累...好想回到从前的我，朋友没几个，只有一些知心朋友...但起码不用为朋友担心这个担心那个，担心那些不关自己事的事情...为朋友流的泪还多过为自己流的泪...这样值得吗？我不知道，我真的不知道...

满脑袋剩下的除了失望，还是失望。除了痛心，还是痛心... 今晚，是个难捱的一晚... 注定要失眠了...

Simply Update~~~Wk 11

It's been a month I din update my blog. No other reasons, juz too buzy~ Buzy wif all the assignments n rushing for the datelines on wk 9, rush until no time sleep... feeling tired doing all the so called "group" assignments with only me n soon keat... hope that next sem. will have better n cooperative groupmates... wat i waiting for now is juz the assignment marks, hope it will not make me too disappointed...

Previously, I like to play L4D2, it's my favourite game before... but finally i din play it anymore and now, i stick to another game again, Command & Conquer 3. Enjoy to play wif both SK as I really dun like to be alone and wargame is my favorite... but too bad lo... my skill is too low and i always let the opponent fight until i need to move my base and stay at either SK de base... Really no eyes see lo... but i do enjoy the game...

In tis month, stg happen. Stg that I only dream for n nvr expected for it... Unbelievable and nvr know that i am uncontrollable... N now it do happened... It's a weird situation, however, i dun mind and for me, it's acceptable... quite enjoy myself in tis situation oso... ya... at the border of being friends...

Wk 12 coming and tis oso means that final exam is approaching... Preparation work shud be done from now, but i still dun have the mood yet... Packing my heart in progress and work will start on next Tuesday.... good luck to my final exam~~~

Unstable Emotion

It's been a week i din update my blog. Time juz like flying past vry fast, now adi week 6 and assignments are being rushed every day. Tis sem. deal with lots of articles juz to get more info. to do assignments.

Story begins from last Saturday, I went to PJ UTAR Campus to watch FATE musical drama, their performance is amazing as it's not easy to sing few of the songs in "The Phantom of The Opera", but still feel a bit disappointed as they din sing the main song, but frankly speaking that song have a high difficulty and shouldn't blame them as they adi put a lot of effort in the drama. It ended up as a 1 day trip in KL.

The next day I attend for the Buddhist night at own campus themed "Spring, is not a season". After that event, suddenly I start to think, is it the style of uni life now is wat i want? I nt yet get the answer... but anyway, i was amazed by the teamwork of the Buddhist Society member. They put so much of effort in preparing the whole drama and I do think that every event organizing committee shud learn from them...

Then, start to have the whole week of buzy life. Almost every night oso got assignment discussion, not enough sleep is common jor... tis sem. met quite a few of weak members as lots of their parts need me to help them do and checked for them. Is not a easy job and very time consuming... juz say, "i dunno how to summarise the articles", then i will help him do mai his part jor juz bcoz i dunno how to teach him oso. If he do it wrongly end up i need to redo again.

Next, i oso same group wif another weird ppl. Always assume ownself is 大少爷, I really beh tahan tis kind of ppl. Plz do know that is not a muz for everyone to tahan ur behaviour and is not without u i can't do all the assignments! Stop showing ur stupid and stubborn attitude to me and I am not tat kind of person will tolerate wif u!!!

There is a simple gathering wif my friends at Falim steamboat on Wednesday nite. Not satisfied that night as i din eat dou my favourite seafood... Swear next time will take wat i want to eat 1st, but not juz eating all the leftovers on the table. Stomach suffering~~~However, enjoy to eat wif my friends and the atmosphere there.

Friday, we went to Taitec to do our Operation Management assignment. The ppl in charge is nice as whatever we ask, he will answer nicely... learn a lot besides from the aspect of assignment. After that, go makan durian at Miki's house and i took 1 durian bk my own house lo... haha!!! I am a durian fans, so sure wun miss this chance lo...

My emotion for the whole week is not stable, maybe due to not enough sleep, maybe oso met wif all kinds of weird n strange ppl...haiz~ juz know got to put more effort in my assignments jor...

Juz Update~~~

It's late at night and i still got another 20 minutes only can sleep. Why? Bcoz of my little pet dog in farmville ( 1 of the stupid game in FB). If i din feed it on time, it will cost 2 FV cash to take it bk leh... haiz... Ntg to do, so update my blog lo...

Now is the third week of my Y2S1 life, seeing my friends 1 by 1 withdraw and take the course in UTAR again, my heart feel sour... dunno why? Maybe bcoz they are my friends and i feel sad to see them left me and we cant graduate at the same time. Haiz... Alan left Kampar, but i still believe he will be in 8 group forever although we can't met often. Waiting for him bk... as he will bring stg that can make me happy for me... waiting for it~~~ Wish u can pursue ur studies well in Selangor and graduate wif flying colors.

Juz nw wan to go out watch movie geh... adi obtain permission from mummy but... too bad... only Lulu can accompany lo... other friends tired, work, buzy~~~ when they see me, they will say i disappear jor so many months and forget them jor, but when i date them, they will say tis n tat n dun wan cum out... haiz... As July is coming, I know they will left Ipoh and pursue their degree at elsewhere... there will be lesser time for us to meet each other in future... feel sad... but cant do anything...

UTAR life...."Good" transport system

It's 2 week pass since new semester... all the class are confirmed and assignments are distributed. The subject of tis sem. kinda tough, do know tat need more preparation b4 go class but yet lazy to do so... assignments are tough, i am not sure wat will happen to all my group assignments, it seems like no 1 care about the progress... worried... know tat i need to do more adi...

Tis weekend was in ipoh. As usual, juz stay in house and grow mushrooms... no plan, no movie, no yumcha... sometimes i wonder, when only i can meet bk all my secondary skul gang and have a gathering? some buzy working, some at other place study. Is that me the only 1 that so free almost every weekend in Ipoh... No lo... Assignments start soon... And i do think that there will be more time for me to stay in Kampar to do all the assignments. Besides, there are mid-term oso... haiz~~~

Study in UTAR is a kind of training... erm... how to say leh? Is like train u how to memorize those subject that might be no use in future, train u how to tahan the heart attack everytime result release, train u fully utilized the limited sem break, train u how to squeeze into the bus as there are too many students and too little bus (although i long time din sit bus adi), train u pray from the God that u can get car sticker every sem. As tis sem, i fail to get the car sticker, my kitty car cant enter school compound.

I really cant understand, if UTAR dun have such a big compund, then dun take in so many student... or they should practise like the public uni, 1st year students are not allowed to drive car, and the senior students that are holding position in club or societies are given the privilege to apply for car sticker... When students park at the east gate, the security will say that students are not considerate and park at the roadside make the bus cant pass and enter campus... then, is there any solution? no... juz know how to complain complain complain... Yup! Who dunno cycle is environmental friendly? But in Kampar, the weather is unpredictable... morning the sun shining so bright and in the evening can be rain heavily.... Ya...there is other alternative, boarding the bus... Only few routes of bus, but there are thousands of students... lots of bus stop in westlake but i can tell u tat's useless.. why? coz if u dun wait at 1st bus stop and u wait at bus-stop near ur hostel, the bus will arrive oso, but then juz pass thru ur sight and it won't stop... why? coz the bus full jor... tis is wat happen to the transport system in UTAR...

Haiz... tats all i wan to grumble about... 2 weeks pass and din do anything... got to pack my heart jor... work hard aiming my hope and dream!!!

A New Sem... A New Start...

Is the start of new sem. again, lots of things need to plan and do. Have a new aim in tis sem., getting dean list is my dream... Adi start sem. for 1 week, start to realize that the subject in tis sem is very tough, preparation work need to be done much more early... assignments are tough and few of my groups got only 2 or 3 ppl in a group, tis means i need to do double the work... haiz... work double but marks no double...

Since bk to Kampar, every night oso go out play left 4 dead 2, thnx to Melvin and SK accompanying me, 1 week playing L4D2 is the maximum... the 2nd week will be the starting of my preparation work... the end for my play life... entertainment is only when the preparation work is done...

So, as the Safety Campaign ends, I will fully concentrate in my studies... tis is wat i promise to myself and muz be done...

The End of Holiday

My holiday almost end lo. The whole semester break feeling nt happy and in a kind of down mood wif no reasons. Luckily, last Friday went for a trip in KL wif Pik San and Wah, feeling much more comfortable after buying a few kitties to add in to my collections...

Watch Robin Hood and Shrek in 3D version, shopping for a few clothes, drink liquor wif SK's friends... tis is all wat i done in KL, not extraordinary, but more than enough to cheer up myself.

Now waiting for the results out, in a kind of nervous feeling, dunno my heart can tahan onot... hope that results are not too bad...

Juz finish arranging my hello kitty and take a photo of the big family... juz add in 2 new members that i juz brought bk from KL...

my mum laugh me n said i no the sense of art and spoil the beauty of hello kitty wif the style i arrange. Haha!!! I admit... anywhere, tis is the big family photo...

再见了，咪咪。我的爱

天下着雨，我的心好痛好痛... 为什么你过马路就不会好好看车吗？为什么？你知道当我目睹你卧在路中间的那一刻，我的心有多痛？ 痛撤心扉... 为什么你就不会好好看路？

刚刚晚餐时，挑食的你嗅到有虾的味道而走靠近我。要喂时，你却不屑的走了，这就是你，挑食又骄傲的你... 这就是我们之间最后一次的接触... 就这样，你走了... 我们对你将好，难道你舍得我们吗？

家里的每一个角落都有我对你的回忆... 从餐桌跳上冰箱失败的画面历历在目,你喜欢七早八早爬到我的屋顶来窗口前叫我起身，如果晚上没出去，凌晨五点多一定准时去敲妈妈的房门，你喜欢学人用背后躺在地上睡觉，你很八又很胆小，喜欢看路过的人却又要害怕，喜欢跟着妈妈走进走出... 你很挑食，很小姐脾气... 当我读书或看报纸时，喜欢故意压在我的书上，不让我读... 你好调皮噢！

但是相信我，我会永远怀念这样的你...可爱的，凶狠的，霸道的，温柔的... 我知道你一定有点点不喜欢我，因为我是那个唯一会抱着你做云霄飞车的主人... 但我也是唯一一个会任你咬任你抓的主人...

本来，本来今天是要让你冲凉的，但是因为我的懒散... 没有帮你冲到... 咪咪，相信我，你会永远在我心中... 因为有你，我的家里多了许多乐趣，每个人一回到家一定是问：“咪咪在哪里？”你已经是我们家里的一分子... 哥哥说，七人座刚刚好，不多也不少，因为他也把你算进去了... 现在家里又只剩下六个人罢了... 想你，真的想你... 真的好像再看到你为了要吃而愿意双脚站来逗我们开心... 当你不要吃，连理也不愿意理我们... 走路也要走看不到我们的路，你真的很有性格，一只很有性格的猫...

新年妈妈炸的肉丝卷是你的最爱，你不吃蒸鱼，只吃炸到脆脆的鱼... 只吃重味道的食物... 猫饼是你永远的最爱... 薯片是可以骗你回来的食物，当你听到薯片的声音时，总是会飞着回来... 你和我一样，喜欢喝很多很多的水...

咪咪，你能来到我家，是我们之间有缘份... 你是一只特别的猫... 我永远永远都会怀念你的...

今天，五月十八日，八时，我会好好的记着... 咪咪，你安息吧！如果来生你还是只猫，来找我吧！我会加倍加倍地疼你的...

戒掉。咖啡。烦恼

曾经曾经...

咖啡曾经是我每天必喝的饮料... 虽然每次喝了总是有作呕的感觉，但偏偏就是喜欢咖啡香醇的味道，对这种味道爱不释手... 就是迷上它，无论自己的身体有几抗拒...

现在现在...

我想戒掉它了...不明白为何自己会突然有这个冲动... 也许不想让自己过分依赖吧！有些许的不舍得，但也不知为什么自己坚持要戒掉...

倪匡（卫斯理），一个我很喜欢的作家，他说他要戒酒，但他戒酒的定义是酒可以照喝，但不能喝醉... 我也是，咖啡可以喝，但不是天天喝...

这几天的情绪很低落... 不知道是因为考得不好，还是在烦恼一些莫名的事情... 就好比戒咖啡，这么简单的事情我也烦了好久... 也不知道自己在发什么神经...哎...

好想去打僵尸... 不要被吓倒，是最近我迷上的一个游戏，总是觉得胡乱的对着僵尸射杀，总是有一种快感，可以宣泄压力... 真的很烦，不知自己在烦什么... 觉得最近的自己不正常，快要失去控制了...

算了，不要想将多了... 还是戒掉咖啡先算...

Disappointed...tired...

Long time din blog adi... bcoz of exam... 1st news is i really disappointed wif my performance today... i work hard on QT2, i do all the tutorial repeatedly.. but all wasted... when the paper is in my hand, i confuse wif all the conditions of hypothesis testing... my mind blank... when exam end, heard ppl said tis paper nt difficult... ya... nt difficult... is juz my preparation nt enough... i shud do all the past year paper... who else the stupid ppl said got theory question de? make me wasted all the time to memorise that...

1st time i feel so helpless when saw the exam question... while doing juz hope that can pass... i dun wan see QT2 again... i dun wan repeat tis paper... tis paper nt worth RM750...i hate u!!! U make me feel like I so stupid... I am tired facing u, u know? Nw hungry, tired, pain, disappointed.... no mood...

I prayed... hope that I can get credit... i do hope that...

Time to Study...

Feel like wanna to go for vacation wif my friends... but the most important thing that I muz do now is to start my revision... the whole sem. din do any revision, now start to know nervous adi... by tis week 14, i muz settle my BA2 and QT2, must!!! If not really cant finish on time adi... Hope that i gt self-control... bk on thursday, but untill today i nt yet touch my slides n books.. feeling myself is such weak... haiz... Teh Siew Yan! I look down on u!!!

My mum warn me, if my result get too bad in this sem, i cannot join any organizing committee anymore, tis means my university life will be meaningless... No energy... Bye... Need go study ler...

FBF Night 2010 Ends...Final come...

Huhh... feel like long time din update my blog adi... So, he cum bk at the most critical time and yet he save the situation... Have a 1 day trip in Penang wif him, but since we dunno the road in Penang, we wasted lots of time using GPS and cheated by GPS... haha... anyway, we do enjoy our time...

then we went to have seafood for dinner... i eat crab... and nw only 1 realise 1 crab cost RM27!!! But it was tasty and worth it... I will bring my family to Bukit Tambun eat seafood ooso when got chance.

But something happen that day, and my mum is not happy wif me... i am not sure whether i am wrong... but i do believe i won't do the same thing again if u give me 1 more chance even though it's impossible... i hate to have cold war wif mum... the whole week i buzy for the preparation of FBF Night, so i force myself not to think so much and focus on wat i should do...

FBF Night is such a successful event... this event had planned for 3 semester and finally it run smoothly... dunno why, i am proud of myself... I feel that i learned a lot in this event... feeling myself mature a bit adi.. know how to handle things and view things from different perspective... for sure there are some imperfect during that night... but i am happy to meet my 8 group members and took photos... long time din take photo wif them adi... but... Siaw was not there... the imperfect...

But, I am happy that i got the chance to take photo wif Ying Hong, 1 of the performers that I like a lot lo... he has a nice voice... know how to play guitar well... wakakaka!!! I enjoy the performance the whole night... but feeling tired oso wearing high heels walking around the whole night. Foot pain for 2 days... walk on smooth land oso pain...

Besides, have chance to take photo wif my year 1 sem 1 classmate and Chern How... Enjoy taking photo the whole night... 83 photos in 1 night... amazing... have a chance to dance wif a handsome that night... enjoy the romance and sweet atmosphere that night... but telling the truth, i quite nervous oso tat time... dance session wif him ends fast... have a sweet memory...

As the night ends, i got to face that problem. On Saturday, my sis fetch me bk to Ipoh. I regret for going bk ipoh to face my mum, she hurts me... she can scold me, beat me... but she choose to ignore me... i am tired... i juz wan her to know that i am mature enough to make my decision, i do promised i will protect myself nicely... why can't she believe me? When I reach Kampar, I really can't take it anymore, I phone her to inform her I reach adi... then it can be said that i juz phone her to give her a chance to scold me... i dun mind, i really dun mind... as long as she can talk bk to me, i really dun mind she scold me... but since the last call on Saturday, she din phone me... i dun have that courage to phone her oso.. i fear... fear to listen her cold voice... that try to ignore me... i am hurt... i need someone to give me courage...

Haiz... final is coming... i should settle my own feeling... got to concentrate in final... coursework in this semester is not that good... hope in final can do well to get more As....

It's Complicated...

I am not sure wat i am thinking now.... a kind of messy... like the chinese proverb "剪不断，理还乱。" My relationship is totally different wif other ppl's. Should be missing him until wan to die while he is not here, but I only think of him while i am free and he phone me. Every time after talk phone oso feel sorry to him. Coz as his gf, even the time to talk phone oso cannot be long... juz bcoz every time he phone me, i am buzy eating, assignment, doing stuff... I am free only during 3-4am in the morning... but he adi sleep... Sometimes, he phone me when i am pressured and in anger... and he will be the pitty 1, coz the way i talk will bcum scolding him... I know i shud not treat him tat bad... but he is the only ppl that i can release all the pressure and anger... and once again, feeling sorry after doing so.... but he do understand me, every time oso advise me to rest more... Every time, i feel like wan to let him go, let him free to find another girl that can accompany him, but i know i cant afford to do so.... i do love him but i really no time and effort to maintain this long distance relationship... I am torturing my heart wif guilty, feeling sorry, pressure repeatedly.... i know is difficult for me to met ppl like him that can bear wif me and my behavior... sometimes. really wan to salute him.... for having that patience wif me... so, tats why i am a weird ppl... very weird.... i oso dun understand wat i am thinking about... Sorry, my dear... please tolerate wif me...

I think i dun bother it so much better. Now i am in a kind of busy mood. If u ask, wat i am busying about, i can only say that busy doing other ppl's stuff. Yesterday night back to Ipoh to fetch him, so i bk to my house while waiting his bus arrive. My mum keep nagging on me, not to help deco dpmt doing stuff, but i stand firm on my decision that i should help them. Is not help tat dpmt, is helping PS... PS is a kind of different ppl that have a weird style of behaviour. Tis behaviour let her, as a human being live more happily. She is soft, a water type of girl. I feel guilty to drag her participate in this committee, she is a happy girl... but bcoz of me, she is overload wif pressure and responsibility... so, wat i can do is only helping her the best as i can. I din admit that i am pro than her, but i do feel that i can help her in planning to ensure things can go on smoothly... worrying her will break down, so i try to help her as much as possible, thinking all the possible idea, and the 1st time i fully utilize my brain, juz bcoz of other dpmt stuff.

I should be have a relax kind of feeling bcoz my dpmt stuff settle as the week of ticket redemption ends, but my heart is full of other stuff. My study is the main thing that make me worry... 5 subjects for this semester: English, QT 2, BA2, MP and IS. For me, English is not a problem. QT 2: after the 2 mid-term, i have more confident wif the 1st 5 chapter, but the last few chapter, i am quite blur wif that, but i think shud be ok if i find my QT sifu, Ling Siaw. Next, BA2: Tis subject worried me the most...Especially chap. 6 which will be cuming out in compulsory part... still blur wif the stupid cash flow statement... Wanna to find Mr. Mahendra in this following week, so i should do revision in this week for tat chapter... do hope that can understand without finding him... and oso do hope that myself can spare out free time wif accounting... MP: the memorizing management subject, i do believe that the most difficult management subject- leadership i oso can memorize it, i do think that this is not a problem, but i have no sufficient time to do bk all the revision...I need time, i need time!!! Last, IS: a worst subject!!! Worst than MP, all the slides no explanation and elaboration, must study the textbooks. Luckily the 1st 6 chapters i adi complete reading the textbook and write down all the extra points. But wat i worry is the behind part, difficult to understand and complex. Haiz.... wif a lecturer teaching by reading all the slides... i start skip classes start from lecture 6....

Actually, to me, all the subject should not be a problem for me... is juz tat wat i lack now is time... TIME!!! I know i can understand it as long as i put time to study it, but embarrassed to say that i have really no time. All the time fully utilized to do the FBF Night stuff... Try to control myself not to mind other ppl's business, but at the end i fail in doing so. My heart got another voice telling me, " U as a part of the committee should help now to let the event to bcum much more better, but not regret after the event fail!" I hate this voice!!! I hate it!!! This make me uncontrollable doing other useless stuff... After doing it, no ppl appreciate... then i regret again... I din mean to ask u to treat me or say thank you to me... but at least, plz let me feel that u r happy wif wat i have done. Plz dun give me expression which is no reaction... My passion in doing this event fade... no more... wat i have now, is juz a kind of responsibility that urge me to participate... Sien....心淡...

So, now.. i should fully focused in my study le... adi week 12, final coming... after the event ends, really need to do my revision... Hope that this final i still can survive...

Weekend in Ipoh

Today wake up early at 5.30am juz to get prepared to Taiping to "ching ming'. Only me n my father, is quite boring since my father is a quiet type of ppl. Tis year, we reached my grandfather's grave too early and nobody was there. Then I start to ask my father's family story... he told me a lot... today only i realized my father is kind and willing to sacrifice for his family but that no one appreciate wat he had done... but there was something i shud learn from him... Although no 1 appreciate wat he had done, he still do watever that he shud done and treat others as well as before.

So, for me now, i also behave as my father. No ppl appreciate? Fine! I will keep on doing watever that I need, so that the event can go on smoothly. No anger, juz let it be in peace. Yesterday collecting all the sponsor stuff from Digi, thought tat only a few box, but tis does not happened as wat i expected.... huhh.... dunno how to explain... my car no place to put my own things adi....

Just now only finish doing all the ticket... dunno worth onot for me to do so much... handmade... dunno got ppl appreciate onot... i do mind tis kind of things but... watever la... i have done it, and at least i have done the best and i satisfied wif the output. The whole day doing stuffs and no rest... feeling tired and tomorrow need to wake up early to drive bk to Kampar to attend class summo... pitty me... and now I have to go to pack all my stuff so that I can bk on time as I do estimate that I will wake up late... yeah... I am sure some1 will say me pig again when read my blog... yes!!! tis time i will admit it... wakakaka!!!

Relieved...

Actually Saturday night wan to update my blog de, but since morning wake up early to have 8am mid-term, then go to Ipoh to have a movie in Jusco, then happen something when i bk, really dun have time n energy to write anymore. Enjoy my time wif my friends. But when stay wif Ee Ven, really cannot be too mature and cannot think too much... When see a clown making a heart wif balloon, she straight lost control and drag me there. Oh my god!!! Maybe different character, she can do wat she want without caring others view, but I cannot... but since she drag n hold me so hard, i can't run away oso... then, bcum wat pik san said lo.... "mempersiahsuikan" diri sendiri.... Hahaha!!!

Maybe... maybe sometimes dun care and dun think so much is good de... but dunno why i everytime oso cant do so. haiz... always make myself complicated. Then, I found out something tat day. Ee Ven really gila sushi... she go to the supermarket dpmt and buy 2 box of sushi n eat... is not small box, but medium box. After that, she said she still wan, then she go n buy another big box... woo... really can eat a lot sushi... i think she eat almost RM30++ of sushi liao...

After cum bk from Ipoh, I message her whether wan to cum n see the coat for Sunday's photo shooting session onot... then she cum at around 12.30am. After the thing happened previously, I really dunno how to face her... sometime, feel like juz wan to assume as ntg happen, but really cannot... After choosing the coat she wan, i invite her to chat beside the road. She agree then we sit by the roadside and have our "roadtalk". I really cant take all the suffering feeling anymore. Straight to the point, I ask her about that time wat she think and how she feel... I tell her how suffer I am.. How disappointed I feel to her. She explain all the things tat I ask, finally i know that is not she that change... she is in dilemma also, is me tat dun understand her... all our unhappy issues solve... then it starts to rain... both of us juz sit at the roadside and under the rain for 2 hours... feel cold, feel syok... I asked her, "r we still friends? Good friends? Do u know u mean different to me?" Ya, she said we are, we are still good friends... At that time, u really cant understand how happy am i... how relieved am I.... Friends forever....

Then, the next day i take lots of pictures wif her, having lots of funs during picture shooting. Then we have our lunch at KFC at Kampar old town. After that, start to do the tickets for FBF Night. So, doing the whole day of tickets making me lazy to wake up this morning and no time to drink my energy booster...T.T Then during QT2 tutorial class, I really nearly fall asleep... decided not to attend the next QT2 lecture n tis is a brilliant decision bcoz Pheng oso run away in the middle of the class bcoz too boring adi...

Tonite is the only free night since I start to do the FBF Night... but I din use this night wisely... juz doing tis and tat not related things.... haiz.... wasted 1 night again...

A Buzy Week

This week is quite a buzy week for me. As I reach Kampar on Sunday, all the stuff tat need to do all come in suddenly... doing the critical management assignment which is given only 1 week time to do... Preparing for the presentation slides for IS...

There was a "short meeting" on Monday night... I cannot take it anymore with all the stupid policies and procedures. Whether policies are clearly stated in black and white oso i dunno. He juz let me feel like he wan to keep everything confidential. I argue wif him fiercely in front of all the committees that night with no face given. Yeah... U r da 1 tat control the cash flow, but tis doesn't mean that u can hold all the money but nt releasing it... A lot of conflicts and arguments happen during the organizing of this event... But I do think tat every event organizing committee will face the same problems n conflict oso...

Yesterday, Tuesday night. I ask SK to accompany bk to Ipoh... Sry for asking u to accompany me... anywhere u let me found out 1 of ur character adi.... wats tat? guess urself... hahaha!!! Anywhere, i realized something after listening to wat my cousin brother said... He said, nt to argue and quarrel wif others, learn how to take it and calm down... communication skills muz be learned in handling ppl and jobs... Yeah... I think I should learn it for my own sake... maybe bcoz when i am concern wif something, i will lost control easily... Next meeting onwards, I will try to control myself... when i do not concern that thing anymore, there will be none of my business even though watever happens... so, do appreciate the time when i concern u... dun make me fade up wif u.... I can do anything for u, my friend when i do care you and ur feeling. Same as the event that I organised, dun ever make me fade up wif all the policies, like tis means I will do my best to get the job done...

Today, I have my 1st Information System presentation. I wore my mum's clothes... dunno is me that think too much or wat.... i feel like everyone is looking at me, not bcoz i beautiful, of course, is bcoz i am vry weird in the way i dressed... Haiz... having the whole day class from 8am - 6.30pm. I do really understand how the word "tired" can be write... But nw, I am still blogging at 3.49am in the morning... after bk from ipoh, sleep a few hours only and have to wake up to go to skul adi.... juz nw after class and reach home, have to attend meeting at 8pm. Not enough time to have my dinner... so i go to eat after meeting at 10pm and juz reach my hostel and i start to blogging...

Sry for scolding u... i am hungry that time and i will lost my temper easily whenever i nt enough sleep and hungry... sorry.... hope u can understand me as i am really buzy tis whole week... phone my mum to crap oso no time... haiz... however, i do learn a lot of things through the whole process i organize this event. I will still join other event organizing committee provided i have the chance and time to do so... So, time to sleep... nitez....

Proud...

So, the 3rd point that I mention yesterday had achieved, I have to officially announced that my committee had sold out all the tickets. Next, I hope that our show can go on smoothly and everyone is talking good about our show...

Yesterday, calling for a lots of ppl for the sponsorship purpose... so far, i quite satisfied wif wat i able to get... Get coffee from Home's Cafe, cash sponsor... (especially from my father ) hahaha... Then, today book time wif 1 of the insurance company, finally they did sponsor but not wif the name of company, is by their own name. After that, I walked to a shop nearby to ask for banner. At first, I juz plan to ask them to quote a price only and plan to suggest them to sponsor the banner. So, I offer them benefit... they don't seem touched wif wat i said.. but after 20 minutes I left the office and at a shop asking about sound system, the banner ppl call me and tell me a good news. I quickly walk bk to the office and discuss the matter wif them... They said since our banner is small, its juz a small matter to them. Even though juz take it as donation from them oso nvrmind... They are so kind... Sometimes, I really quite agree wif a quote in Chinese "got give only got take", this is true. In this new era of business world, everyone talking about benefit, if u dun willing sponsor me, I am not willing to help u promote oso, right?

Wakaka... forget to annonce a big news. Lalalala~~~ Finally, today is the last day of holding P license, this morning go apply for normal licence adi.. finally I am free from P license!!! Maybe u will feel weird why i so happy, but have to say that my house has its own policy... mum not allowed me to stick the stupid big red "P" on her car. This also means that I can't drive her car... Argh.... I wan the good air-cond and power steering car....

Haiz... talking about car... got a bad news.... My dear kitty Toyota Corolla admitted to hospital yesterday and found that its heart (carburettor) got problem... need to find other car to donate the heart or maybe buy another heart... but the whole day has passed, can't find suitable de oso... I feel that I am gonna be vry inconvenient without my kitty car... summo need to bk ipoh 2 times to get all the sponsor stuff... haiz... i do pray and hope that got suitable heart for it... really can't imagine the days without car and need to cycle.. T.T

Tomoro, I have a tight schedule, fetch sis to school, then go ask for the price of renting p.a system, then go ipoh parade fetch sis n send her to Sky Corner to attend a gathering. Aiyo... every time cum bk oso she will very happy de, coz i can be her free driver send her go here and there. But nvrmind la.... who ask her is my sister? hahaha...

So, as wat i said and planned yesterday, I pay for B and start to use it... it's difficult but i do think should be worth in future.. juz assume it as a type of investment with long run and lifelong return...

Ending of 2nd Last Mid-term

Finally, the Management Principle mid-term end. Huhh.... but feel a bit sorry and guilty to myself... Do something that embarrassed myself, and I swear I wun do that anymore again!!! Dun like this kind of myself, every time also do last minute study, really really hate myself!!! From next week Monday onwards, promise myself stay at school library untill the library closed! This is my new rules and I muz be disciplined. Tis FBF night had occupied lots of my time, i think i should put my best effort on working out the best result! If I can get a good output, all the things that I have done worth it.

Yesterday night cum out to have a drink wif my secondary schoolmate, dunno.... have a weird feeling... feel like can tell him lots of things... so, i tell him all my unhappy, stress and worries that I have go through this few days... He is a good listener... understand me and know wat kind of advice that he should give me... After the drink, I suddenly get wat my friend wan to tell me...

Sometimes, you will know that something is can't totally controlled by u, so try not to be too stubborn... u should know that it's the fact and u should accept it... If u paid something to get the thing u want with equal value , for example A, u cant really get 100%.. If so, why u still wan to pay for it and insist to get that A? Why not B? Yes, I know... A means different to me... but i think i should let it go... I am more important to B, so I should paid for B... I can get back more than wat i wish to have in terms of value... Isn't it worth? Yeah... it's the time to let go... it should be the end and I should make my decision fast to pay for B. A cant give me good performance, I dun think it worth for wat i paid... So, even though how good the reputation do A have, I will still choose to let go...

In this coming week, got a few wishes...

1st, revise at library everyday except 1 of the night- got stuff do ( tis is the most difficult point...XP )

2nd, let go A and paid for B...( should be easy for normal ppl, but it's hard for me since i am abnormal)

3rd, hope that all the tickets of FBF Night can be sell out... means i no need on duty booth counter anymore lo...( this is the most easiest point among the 3)

Gambateh!!! Juz be urself!!!

Tired...

I thought after having a short meeting of FBF Night, i should have time to revise my MP de. Mana tau, short meeting regarding short meeting, a short meeting longer than usual meeting... meeting untill almost 11 only settle all the thing... Then, SK cum my place to watch da demo clip to decide on his program. Suddenly, I think of Alan and phone him to ask about the stuff that he promised to help me ask. Then, unexpectedly all his friend agree to help us do some performance. Thanks a lot, Alan. Know u long time adi, but yesterday is the 1st day i found that u r so serious n effective when u help me do things... Really, thanks... my friend...

Although cum out wif satisfied result, but I lost the time to do my revision... So, at the end I bath at 3 in the morning and start to do my revision... Then, got 1 long gas ppl msn ppl and nagging a lot stuff that are not related to me. He said I shouldn't handle things like this and that. Sorry to say that, this is my style of doing things. Can accept means u accept, cannot accept means u fired me... Dun talk a lot this and that... I do think that as long as I can provide output to u, I dun think there is anything wrong in my style of doing things, At least, better than someone that only know how to say professionally but output is like shit!!! Pls do respect me as I respect u...

Tomorrow got MP mid-term lo... I sleep a lot juz now coz this morning got class at 8am and only slept for 1 hours... almost 5 hours gone for my nap, plan to study thoroughly tonight... hope that my mid-term have good results means I no need so suffering during my final...

The ticket selling result is good for today... At least, I no need to worried how I should sell out those ticket before the FBF Night...

Another buzy day

So, I start my day by having a 10am 2 hour class. After eating lunch, I attend another 12.30pm-2pm QT2 tutorial... feel sleepy in the class, dunno why the tutor repeat teaching the tutorial last week, fishing in da class. Then, attend 2-4pm, another QT2 lecture class... Sleepy oso coz the air-cond is too comfortable.... No la... is juz tat tis morning wake up late ady, din have my cup of energy boost- coffee.

Dunno why hor... i like to drink coffee... but my body dislike coffee, bcoz after every time i drink, i feel like want to vomit... but i still like the aroma and the smell of coffee. Is that bcoz I am Ipoh ppl? I only prefer Ipoh White Coffee. Try Blue Mountain before, but feel tat that type not suit me. Ppl said, if u really want to enjoy a cup of coffee, u should buy the coffee bean and blend the bean and cook the coffee urself. But, for me, this kind of lazy ppl will nvr do tis kind of things. However, I do like to try different kinds of coffee. So, every time I go bk Ipoh and go out for breakfast or lunch wif my family, I sure will order a glass of White Coffee ice.

One day, my friend said that I am addicted to coffee. Is it so? Only myself will know that, is not true. Bcoz I won't die without coffee, is juz that I like it a lot. Human is a weird creature. Coffee is bitter, but why still got so many ppl like it? Juz bcoz of that attractive aroma? As I think of this, I think of a post I write a few days ago. Drinking coffee is juz like dating. The aroma of coffee is attracting ppl to drink it while the sweetness of love is attracting ppl to go pak tuo. However, only the ppl tat drink will know the bitterness of the coffee as only the ppl that date will understand how suffer when miss one another.

Juz now after seting up the booth and decorating the mobile board, we go n have our dinner at 5 in Vegas. Oh my god!!! The burger there are extremely big... the 2nd time i eat adi.... i still feel the environment there is nice.... nice to talk and laugh... hahaha!!! This is wat i eat juz now...

Haiz... long time din talk to Ee Ven liao... we are both buzy wif our own classes and assignments... since sem 1 same class, i feel that the invisible distance between us is getting farer. Juz now, she tell me a lot of things... only untill juz now only i know tat, she is same wif me, got a lot things to tell, but no one to talk to... i understand this kind of feeling, i do understand... i am facing this kind of problem oso... is juz tat i am vry buzy of doing different kinds of stuff such as rushing assignments, preparing for Faculty of Business and Finance Night and have no time to think of this useless problem that make me headache... Ee Ven, I still treat u same as previously. Caring you and worry you... I hope that u can move and stay wif me... coz sometimes really feel alone... that kind of feeling no ppl can understand...now no more ppl to let me talk to...

So, today is Monday and I am having my Management Principles mid-term on Wednesday... since last week Ms Sophia announce the mid-term postpone, i din touch it anymore and tats why now i am worrying coz i only finish chapter 1 only. I think tonight have to burn midnight oil adi...

Later need to go for my FBF Night meeting, and my booth counter will be on tomoro... my buzy life dunno when only will end... but frankly speaking I do enjoy it... Tats all for today...Goodluck to myself tomoro...

Reopen

I open this blog because I wan to share my feelings wif my friend, but previously I stop writing is also because of that friend. But now, I learn not to be too innocent anymore. Previously, I am; but now, I am not.

So, now I am in the middle of year 1 sem.3, all the mid-terms coming and assignments dateline approaching. As the 1st post in this blog, I will rewind back things happened in this semester. This is such a buzy and interesting sem. Lots of happy and unhappy things happen...

Start from the beginning of semester, I have joined the orientation ice-breaking organizing committee. As I held the post of assistant secretary, it can be said that I have nothing to do. My job is juz following the committees to buy stuff and presents at Jusco, finding for sponsorships with Chern How at the streets of Kampar old town. This is indeed a precious experience. As in the whole process, I learned a lot from Chern How. This make me more understand how important is conversation skill is needed in persuading others to sponsor the event u made. That whole week, I am kinda buzy of doing preparation work for the ice-breaking. Almost everyday not enough sleep, but at the end more than 10% of this intake students attend our ice-breaking, this had reached our target and every committee were happy wif this result. There are joys and funs, but there are also bitter and unhappy in any event organizing process. However, it can be said that, the joyness had cover all the unhappy moment. In conclusion for this event, all the organizing committee had done a great job especially Seng Kwee and Sebastian that had use all their effort to plan for the games and the ceremony.

Next, on the 7th of February, I had attend an event which was named as Valentine's Night. So, there is a whole gang of us and mostly of my gang are people that like to make fun like Chern How, Eddie, Seng Kwee, W, Siew Pheng...So, the whole night they were making a lot of fun and make me laugh untill i am not behave nicely as a girl. All my image spoiled bcoz of them. Wakakaka...At that night, I have a good moment with all my friends but is juz tat W got a bit spoiling his own image...hahaha...Have a dinner wif them, have a game session wif Chern How, have a dance wif Siew Pheng and Seng Kwee. Chern How, here to say sorry that make ur leg pain tat night. The 1st night I dance in my life and SK is my 1st dance partner. No romance in between but juz keep talking abt other ppl's 8 stuff...hahaha....next is Siew Pheng, she is my 2nd dance partner. O....forget to tel that Siew Pheng is a girl. So, is quite weird that 2 girls dance together....but, honestly, I do enjoy that night dancing wif Pheng. So, that night end wif a happy photo session. We all enjoy it...Thanks to Pheng tat helping me make up n plz dun feel sorry for wat incident happened. Thanks....A great to mention for that night is that Eddie and Pheng get the prize of The Best Couple. At here, I congrats them and wish them can be together forever.

Juz wanna to mention wat I have got for my Valentine's present, a brand new Sony MP3 player. Thanks my dear. I juz said that the library is a bit crowded and i cannot concenrate. Then, u bring me to choose the model. Thanks.....

Then, at 1st of March, me, Pik San and Seng Kwee attend a Chinese New Year Night organized by Chinese Language Society and Wushu Club of UTAR. The 1st time I realized that Lion Dance can be so cute. Besides, The Storm....erm..I am not sure whether i spell it correctly....the show by them is so amazing..i nvr realized that UTAR got such talented ppl...8 dishes are served that night....I am not that kind of ppl tat can eat spicy food, but only untill that night only i know that I am not the worst...hahaha!!! Pik San can be said that is totally cannot eat spicy, and SK keep swallowing and keep drinking water...so, i enjoy the fish a lot...The 1st time i see ppl cook fish wif petai inside....nice and tasty... Thanks to SK for being my "waiter" that night...kakakaka...A bit of imperfect is we din take photos....

This week start onwards, as previously I am going for dinner in a gang of 3, but now is in a gang of 2....erm...2 still consider a gang onot? I oso dunno....My friend, I juz wan to let u know from the day i know u and the way i treat u, u should know that i treat u wif my heart...Maybe juz not used to the condition now tats why my emotion got a bit imbalance...sorry for making u unhappy...Anyway, I still treat u as previously how i treat u...hope u dun forget me as we have been close friends before...friends forever....no...best friends forever....i will juz forget about the unhappy things in between of us...

So, today juz after Information System midterm...hahaha...lecturer play a fool wif us...there are 3 sets of exam paper...and untill almost i need to pass up only i realized it...luckily i din copycat...if nt then i die adi.....so, pitty la...for those who din study and copy friend's answer but wif different sets...

So, now I am putting all my effort in the preparation of Faculty of Business and Finance Night where I am the Public Relation Manager and in charge of all of the promotion stuff and promotion booth counter. I do hope that this event can run smooth on 9th of April since I put all my effort in...That day will be my 4th big day in my life.....why 4th not 1st? sure got reason la....hahaha......

Tats all for my reopen introduction, quite long since i am telling grandmother stories for half of the semester uni life....Wakakaka....